October 9th, 9:50AM
Hello my friends. Welcome back. It has been quite some time since I have been here. The past two years I was attempting to find peace in another person. It consumed me, all of me. I lost myself in the whirlwind of emotions and adventures. But all the while, I was trying to find something that was not there. I was trying to force something that was not meant to be mine. There were good times, and there were bad. In the end, I found the strength inside me to walk away from someone I loved. It was the right decision.
What I learned about myself after the choices I made is the truly empowering part. I found myself again. I found my smile. I rediscovered my glow. I had forgotten what it was like to do things on my own, without having to worry about another person bringing me down. The freedom to be was liberating. No one to judge me. No one to question me. No one to try and control how I should be. I went on drives by myself. Saw my friends more. Got back into crocheting. Became more creative. My weekends of tiptoeing on ice were over.
All of this new found freedom did not come easily. There were times when I was deeply sad. I would relive the past and the good times and wonder if I made the right decision. My mind would then bring me back to all the reasons I walked away. Day by day, the doubt faded and I knew I had made the right decision. As the days continue to pass, I continue to fall in love myself more and more. Accepting myself for all the beautiful chaos and flaws that make me who I am.
This is my 26th year. This is my time, I can feel it. In this past year, through the hardships that life brought my way, I managed to travel and experience new things with people I care about. I finished my Master’s Degree in Forensic Accounting. I started a new job in March that I am grateful for. I can work from home, or pretty much anywhere. That ability has given me the chance to travel and still work without having to compromise too much of my time. My business took off this summer, having one of the best seasons yet. I got my motorcycle license. I bought a motorcycle. And I love this bike. One of the best decisions I could have made.
Earlier this year, I traveled to Florida and Pennsylvania. Two of the best vacations I’ve had since Covid rocked our way of life.
In Florida, I ate at a restaurant called U And Me: Revolving Hot Pot. A cut robot named peanut sat you at your table. It was delicious and a great way to end a perfect day.
In Pennsylvania, I found the next car to add to my collection of vehicles.
Say hello to Carla. My 1992 Chevrolet Camaro RS. She needs some love, but she’s perfect to me. I sometimes think she is more trouble than she is worth. BUT, nothing that is worth it in the end is going to make things easy for you. I drover her 300 miles from Pennsylvania home to New Hampshire. She made it all the way with no problems. I’m grateful she fell in to my lap. With the price of cars on the rise, I am not sure I would have had another opportunity like this to own one. She is currently down in North Carolina with a friend, waiting for her restoration.
Other fun things I did this year included a Lindsey Stirling and Guns N Roses concert, my Best Friend’s Baby Shower, I bought a Mini Bike to take off roading. So many new and wonderful experiences presented themselves to me.
This year was filled with ups and downs. Some out of my control, and some fully caused by me. I said goodbye to people. I said hello. I reconnected with old friends and made new ones. I grew closer to people that I didn’t think I would. There are yet more adventures and experiences that await me that I have planned, and some that have not yet been a thought in my mind.
No on is coming to save you. You have to be your own person. Love yourself and do what makes you happy. Motor on my friends.
Here’s to my 26th year.